A blog in response to the article Confessions of a Secret Cosplay Boyfriend…
Originally posted: http://geekxgirls.com/article.php?ID=637
There are many secrets out there. Things we keep from friends, family or the public at large. The whole reason I fell in love with cosplay is because it means that you don’t have to hide the fact that you want to dress around in spandex as a superhero. Cosplay is about celebrating not only who you are and what you love, but the ideals that you live your life by. When I choose a cosplay character I pick someone I truly identify with and try to push the line beyond just wearing the same outfit and embody that character.
Cosplay is about not having to hide the fact that you love something so much that you’d change your appearance to fit into that world. It is about not hiding your passion – so why would you hide someone that you loved?
Now there are many people out there who are not extroverted or have no desire to be in the lime light. I can respect that. In fact, my Cajun is one of them. I’ve been cosplaying as Rogue since I was sixteen, long before I met my boy. Since having been together he has built a Gambit cosplay that he wears to conventions along side me. Having said that, he often jokes and says “I’m just an accessory.” I respect this. I respect that my love is a geek computer nerd who would much rather be behind a screen than in the light and we find ways to make it work so I can shine, but he doesn’t need to feel threatened. I’m not afraid to kiss him at conventions lest everyone know I’m not really available and start to “unlike” my facebook page but we are not all over each other either.
We are not the only cosplaying couple we know. A good friend of mine Rachey Lockdust cosplays as Black Cat with her boyfriend Deidara Cosplay dresses as Spiderman. Now this is not to say that if you are a couple you MUST cosplay as a couple, but let me tell you when ever I find a Scott/Jean combo or Bat/Cat couple it makes my day. Honestly, it’s a highlight for me at a con when I find another cosplayin’ couple as a traditional duo within the geek world. One of my favourite cosplayers Margie Cox is my favourite for that exact reason. I was drawn to her work where frequently there are pictures of her and her husband cosplaying together. Of all their combinations I’m partial to their Psylocke and Cyclops, which are absolutely perfect.
Yet there are ways to cosplay together without needing to advertise that you are in each other’s beds at nights. Fan Expo last year the Cajun and I ran into this lovely duo Andrea Polcz and Mike Joe cosplaying as Poison Ivy and Two Face respectively, this past weekend we saw them again only this time as Green Arrow and Black Canary. It hadn’t occurred to us the first time we met these two that they were a couple, but regardless they looked fantastic together. Now lets be honest the general experience is “Oh hey look awesome costumes!” Take a snap shot, say thanks and walk away. So what does it matter if they are together, siblings or strangers?
“But I don’t like dressing up! So I’m stuck as a secret!” This is probably the comment I hear all the time that drives me absolutely bonkers. So you don’t like dressing up in spandex, or maybe you aren’t comfortable with your body type, it is completely understandable we all have different comfort levels. At this point, in my mind, you have two options; one – pick a cosplay like Constantine or Gwen Stacey where you pretty much just wearing regular clothes – OR – you act like one of the most fantastic couples I know That Joker Guy an’ his lady Erin.
The first time I have active memory of That Joker Guy was 2009, he was hard to miss all painted behind his table of Joker related artwork. To be honest I’ve no recollection of Erin at all, but I don’t doubt for a second that she was there by his side. Since actually meeting them in person this past December, when we played hockey for the Sean Ward Show, I’ve come to know these two as some of the kindest people out there. Every time I’ve seen them Joker is dressed as one would expect and Erin is there with her bright blue jacket beside him. Be it at filming events, charity walks or conventions I’ve never seen these two apart. These two built up their own geek worlds growing up and managed to seamlessly blend them when they married in 2005. Since I’ve known them I’ve never seen Erin in cosplay, so the idea that both parties –must- be in costume otherwise your not ‘together’ is ludicrous.
Now very recently I read an article about being a ‘Secret Cosplay Boyfriend’ and I understand that we all have our own experiences and perspectives and I respect that. However to cap the article by stating –
“At the same time, I admit that there were times over the years that I lost interest in following a cosplay girl online because she had a boyfriend or a husband.”
My response is ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. Don’t hide behind a computer screen and complain that you are somebody’s dirty little secret if you are going to be the kind of person that would stop following someone’s work based on their relationship status. Now I understand sex sells. Its an unfortunate truth, but how can you hold the rest of the world to a standard that you would not hold yourself too? It’s terrible that people only want to follow T&A, its atrocious girls evidently feel the need to keep their status a secret to gain attention, but to steal a quote from one of my favourite movies —
“If you suffer your people to be ill educated and their manners corrupted from infancy what else is to be concluded sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.” –Danielle, Ever After
It has to start earlier. It has to begin with how we view men and women from a young age. If a woman’s only way to get ahead is become a sex symbol, be it an actor, cosplayer, or athlete –then how can you fault them later when they choose to follow these guidelines? Ultimately in my opinion it comes down to the individuals. If you want to be slutty, do so. If you want to be conservative, do so. At the end of the day you only have to answer to yourself. Who cares if people wont like your page because you have a significant other? If that’s all it takes they are shallow nothings anyway. This is about YOU expressing what you love to do so stop allowing “fame”, especially of the social media variety to dictate how you live your life or express your love.
As Gandhi said best; Be the change you want to see in the world. Let’s all stop complaining about the awful sides of cosplay and bring it back to what it was always meant to be – a way to celebrate the things you love with like minded individuals.